Have you ever wanted to heal one of your relationships, and you didn’t know how or where to start? I’ve experienced some tumultuous upsets in some of my relationships at various times in my life, and wanted to find a way to heal the issue within myself before approaching the person involved. I turned my attention to two powerful tools, and combined them for an effective process for healing relationships with others without needing to interact with them.

The first tool is the ancient Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono (make things right). I begin by gently holding the person in my mind, and repeating, “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.” I say this internally or out loud whenever I think of it. The second tool is my imagination, in a process called inner journey work. In a quiet location, I close my eyes with an intention to resolve the relationship, and simply allow whatever images appear to unfold in my imagination. I don’t try to guide or change them, I simply stayed tuned in, no matter how strange or silly they might appear.

I have found that my subconscious mind will use symbols and imagery to guide me through the resolution. In one case, a couple I wanted to heal my relationship with appeared in my imagination as a pair of tame rabbits. As I began to speak the words of Ho’oponopono to them, the rabbits held an ornate golden oval mirror up for me to look into while I spoke. I grinned with the understanding that I was really saying the words to myself.

I walked away from that inner journey session with the understanding that healing our relationships with others is [I]always[I] an inside job. It’s so easy to blame others for the difficulties, and, being human, I often do. More and more, however, I understand the value of doing the inner work first. By doing so, I give myself an opportunity to take responsibility for my own contributions to the difficulties in the relationship. When I’m willing to look that deeply inside myself and listen for my inner guidance and authority, I often discover that the qualities I’m blaming someone else for are really things I’m not willing to see in myself

There’s a word for such qualities that we don’t see in ourselves, and it’s called “shadow.” There’s a human tendency to cast or project our shadows onto other people rather than see them in ourselves. Starting to recognize and integrate our own shadows is deep and intensive work. For those who are willing, it’s very rewarding and brings one closer to a state of wholeness and inner peace.

The art of right relationship begins within. When we are in true integrity with who we are, taking responsibility for our shadows and projections, we are practicing Ho’oponopono with ourselves. From that foundation, we cannot help but draw to us people with similar values. Even so, there will always be misunderstandings and difficulties in relationships. Now, when I find myself wanting to blame someone else for my bad feelings, I simply look in the mirror and say “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”

Creative. Passionate. Receptive. Focused. Pulsating with power.
Glowing with good health. Radiant with self-confidence.

Venus transited the sun in June 2012, signifying the rise of a new feminine archetype: the Solar Feminine.

In recent history, the feminine has been associated with the moon, that heavenly body which does not shine its own light, but reflects the light of the sun (associated with the masculine). This is an interesting analogy of the role that women have played for the past couple thousand years… that of being the reflectors of the shining solar masculine; sometimes in their shadow, but not emitting their own light. With the rise of the solar feminine, the masculine and feminine are coming into a time of harmony and balance. Equality isn’t even really the right concept, because there are different but complementary gifts that each bring to the mix.

The lovely paradox here is that as women step into empowerment, we must learn to embody the power of our YIN: the ability to receive; to ask for what we want; to understand our innate power to magnetize all that we desire without needing to chase, quest, and conquer. We get to learn how to recline on the velvet chaise to balance out those power meetings with our teams and hours of intense output. It doesn’t matter if it’s taking care of the house and kids, hours on the phone with clients, planted at the computer desk, or bending over a massage table. Whatever form the giving of our gifts to the world takes must be offset with rest, recreation, fun, and play.

I’ve been on a parallel path with the emergence of the Solar Feminine. Her life story and mine are intertwined. What it has taken for me to learn how to recline on the velvet chaise has been no small feat… and I’m still learning. For me, and in the feminine collective, it’s been a journey of intense internal shadow excavation, leaving behind the old programs of care-taking, control-freaking, shutting up, and all manner of unhealed, compounded wounding we’ve carried through untold generations. I often feel my ancestresses cheering from beyond the veil as I ride the leading edge on the back of a tiger, slashing with my sword through old paradigms of feminine victim-hood, martyrdom, and sexual abuse and repression.

As women, we get to be change agents, catalysts, cauldron stirrers, and crucibles. And we get to be all of that from a soft, feminine place, living in harmony with the masculine. We get to embody wholeness and be living examples of what’s possible when a woman is willing to face her demons and then hug them and welcome them home. We get to weave our lives and work and play and relationships together into a rich, gorgeous, colorful, beautiful tapestry that depicts harmonious scenes of a well-lived life. And, as a beautiful bonus, we have the incredible privilege of being able to share this path to wholeness with those who are seeing us and saying, “I’ll have what she’s having!”

The Solar Feminine is rising in the East, the direction of new beginnings, of sunrise, of Spring, of youth, of playfulness, and the color of orange. She is ready to meet the shining masculine in all his powerful glory, bringing a spirit of collaboration, compassion, and creativity. Can I hear a hallelujah?